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He wasn't sure what to say. I was already sold on how I felt, and there really wasn't a lot he could say."Well just know if you wanna talk about it, I'll talk to you about it. I want you to be happy too," John said."I'm happy John: I'm pregnant and married now. A year ago, I had absolutely no idea when either of those things were gonna happen. I'm happy, this is just fresh in my mind right now, that's all I guess," I replied.Then he put his arm over my shoulder and gave me a kiss. Then I gave him a hug."And what happened to you being turned on? I saw you looking at them, you liked it at least for a minute," John said."Well, I don't know. I guess that was before I really did the math on our history. I was just thinking about when she used to watch us," I replied.Then we both got naked again and cuddled together. I think he wanted to have sex again, but I really wasn't in the mood honestly, so he didn't try anything."And we did completely forget to tell them about possibly naming our. I figured I would hold on until he let go and then we would be over. His rubbing continued and I accepted, his rub was suddenly stronger, firm, but so pleasant and I began to realize why I did not want to end, this was our beginning foreplay, at least it had been. I knew he would never touch me intimately again, so I was petrified to attempt anything. His left arm ran down my right side, and goose bumps formed all over my body. Up his hand ran again, and down to the edge of my pants. He repeated the same swift movement on both sides now, while moving up and under my shirt and I was determining his attentiveness had to be his form of comfort, his goodbye. He rubbed so long, I could feel my desire rising and I needed to let go or I knew I would try and touch him. I was terrified of rejection. I was letting go emotionally, why couldn’t I do so physically? I used my fingers to trace imaginary lines on his skin. I wanted to whisper something, anything, I wanted to know if he was trying.
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